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Post by Vincent on Jul 28, 2010 17:10:23 GMT -5
OK, one thing you need to clarify here. When her 'song' is sung the opposite way you put 'only doom can come from it'. You need to be specific about what happens if she sings it this way, such as whether it's physical pain, how much e.t.c.
There are also some spelling and grammar errors that you might want to look at. Proof-reading and/or using a spell-checker could sort out most of them.
After that's sorted, you should be good to go.
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Post by undineofthewater on Jul 29, 2010 19:27:52 GMT -5
History/Background: Undine's story is as tragic as it can get. She and her sister were born in their home in the Slums. After the twins' birth their father was killed by her vile, power hungry aunt, Carnilya and her beloved wolf, Aries. Their mother managed to find safety for her and the children and stayed hidden for 9 year, passing down to both girls two halves of the tear drop necklace that held much power/ energy in both halves; if put together it would become stronger than before. Within these 9 years Carnilya, who wanted this power from the complete necklace, received information of their ware bouts and found and murdered her sister and her friend after the girls escaped. However only 6 months into hiding, their aunt tracked them down and managed to manipulate Undine with her powers, which caused her to kill her twin sister, Ninfa. At her last breath, Ninfa gave her the other half of the necklace to her and some words of encouragement to flee and live. Unfortunately after escaping, a great depression took over her, but she continued to live at her beloved sister's request. As years go on [she's now 18] she continues to grieve and blame herself for what occurred and never stays in a place for too long in fear of her aunt. As she moves, the spirit of her sister, in form of a white butterfly, accompanies her everywhere she goes.
Name: Undine MaCosta
Age: 18
Height: 5"6
Weight: 115 lbs.
Alignment/Affiliation: None. She tries not to hold serious relationships nor bonds, for she doesn't want them to be killed by her, nor her aunt or wolf.
Race: Human/ Faerie [Fairy]
Appearance: She is has a slender body shape, has long back hair that goes past her waist and bangs that almost cover the blue jewel on her forehead. Her eyes are blue but can glow bright blue when she's either fighting or upset. She also wears a choker necklace that had a crystal tear drop amulet that she never takes off.
Personality: At first glance she seems like a sweet, warm-hearted girl who is always there to help anyone in need of her assistance. She has enough unconditional love for anyone she meets. However behind that gentle mask resides a sadder version of her due to the grief and blame she holds for the murder of her twin sister. Occasionally she can go into a deep depression or even lose control of herself and become a killing machine without realizing it.
Abilities: She is able to run fast like a cheetah without tiring, to jump up high [and can be found sitting on a tree branch in a flash] and to fly with her wings when she lets them appear at will. In addition when she sings her song that sounds almost like an angel singing, she can heal people's wounds/injuries/pains including her own. However if her song is sung the opposite way only doom can come from it.
Weapons: A silver sword that she always hides under her skirt/ dress in case of an emergency.
[[Oopsy I meant to click edit and accidently clicked delete > . < Silly me! ]]
**Edit: When the opposite part of the song is sung by either her or her aunt, the singer is not harmed/ affected. Though the listeners, that part of their species, are inflicted with deep physical pain all over their bodies [this pain preventing them from moving] can last as long as the song is sung. Also a kind of demonic control can occur if the song is sung longer than 3 minutes; which can result in memory loss for her or her aunt.
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Post by Vincent on Aug 1, 2010 16:52:25 GMT -5
OK, looks a bit better now.
Approved!
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Post by undineofthewater on Aug 2, 2010 0:06:17 GMT -5
Yay! ^-^ Thank you!
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